So Dumbledore was right……

You see it really is your choices that will make the difference and not your abilities!

Now in a sense that is amazing….. why? Well it means that YOU, yes YOU, can create truly outstanding results for your clients and the life you’ve been dreaming of. There is also NO need to pursue that old habit of ‘only going for it once you know enough etc’…. ooops, or was that me?

But enough of this casual chat style blogging, there is a point I’d love to share and it’s this – in the context of your business, choose your business model carefully and make it relevant to now, that’s right 2011 – the market is shifting faster than you can shake a stick at (I need to modernise that phrase to something webby!) and you should be prepared for that.

For those of you that are newly qualified, it’s fantastic that you have your new ‘purpose’ and skill set  (such an exciting time!) – I can so clearly now remember the first time I went back in to the work place and utilised my techniques, saw huge shifts and ultimately made the choice to branch out on my own. (is that what you’re doing or going to do?)

At last I thought, my own empire…. clear goals focussed on why and what – and I’m totally good with all of that AND do be mindful when ‘acting as if’ that you have an understanding of what will make your business the success you deserve in 2011. I made some errors of judgement and you can avoid them  – why repeat someone elses errors when you can learn from them and simply do something more useful instead!

I’m going to be sharing my learnings and how I am making it work well now on a monthly basis and if you’d like to be part of it then do let me know…. no link for you to click now because I know you need to reach that point in your own way, in your time…… your choice……

Have fantastic week!

With much love and laughter.

Dave x

How do you keep the ‘buzz’?

 Over the weekend I was attending, and briefly speaking at, the ‘Superconference for Coaches, Trainers & Consultants in London’.

 This was a simply amazing event with a host of fantastic speakers including Michael Neill (The SuperCoach), Jairek Robbins and Jonathan Jay (founder of the Coaching Academy) plus many more.

BUT, the interesting thing for me was not that everyone (around 350 delegates) took away incredible insights into building their business, or even that they got superb opportunities to further develop themselves at knockdown prices……. NO, the thing for me was the BUZZ!

There was the most incredible supportive BUZZ all weekend with like-minded energy building as excitement grew for the massive potential to do business more elegantly and effectively. People literally went away ‘buzzing’ (sorry, must work on humour) with energy to get out and serve others – very cool.

THEN, as 6.00pm on Sunday came and the event closed there was a gentle trail of folks heading home to their respective corners of the UK and I began to wonder…. and as my mind wandered I wondered just how long this energy might last because I don’t know about you but I need a regular pick me up to keep me on the right path.

So my question is this, when the excitement of events such as this fades – how do you ‘keep your mojo’ (did i really just write that? )?

What are your strategies for keeping on track? For me, I really benefit from belonging to a Mastermind group (similar to the one I am running http://www.apctc.com/events/?event=5 ) and fortnightly coaching – but what works for you? I’d love to know….

Until next time… keep the buzz!

Morphogenic Fun

Well firstly I ought to endeavour to explain what this is going to be all about, just a really brief overview – focussing on ‘the power of the collective’ -to examine what happens when a sizeable group tackle common tasks

So why on earth might this be interesting? Well I imagine that you, like me, get really curious about the plethra of amazing material that is available to fuel the passion we have for developing ourselves and others. A few weeks ago I was listening to ‘Beyond the Matrix’ by Dr David Shephard and when it came to his section on Morphogenic field it triggered an idea that had been rolling around the back of my mind for some time and I really hoped that you might join in and, vitally, spread the word to encourage others.

Let me tell you what went on so that you can consider further. One of the challenges I hear about for the solo or entrepreneur is maintaining energy towards those things that we know are fundamental to the lives of our businesses. By harnessing the power of assistance of others we can often ‘breakthrough’ to new successes far faster than just by pondering alone. There are already many ways of addressing this and so what went through my mind is in no sense original and may well be going on at the moment and just out of my awareness.

In simple terms, what might occur if the morphogenic field principle were applied by a significant group of like minded individuals with the same common ‘service’ intent – rather like a cross between a giant mastermind and networking group - for a very condensed period of time (7 consecutive days) covering a very specific topic each day.

So this is how it might work – each day, a ‘theme’ or topic is presented which is straight forward and vital to business success – on that day, everyone within the group will think about, consider and work on this specific topic for a period of time (say 30 mins of total focus) – and depending on interest it may even be possible to have a suggested time at which this is done which people can adopt according to their individual schedules.

The results and learnings can be posted on the Facebook group ‘Morphogenic fun’ so that everyone has an opportunity to contribute and benefit from the experience of others and at the end of the experiment we can all evaluate our own and the group learnings.

The nearest I have ever come to working in this way, from memory, is sitting exams in a very large group and when I cast my mind back to just what that experience was like I recall a very interesting feeling and sense of ‘combined intelligence’.

Imagine now settling down to work each day, for 7 days, knowing that hundreds (possibly thousands) of people are working on exactly the same thing as you and and towards a common purpose.

So there it is and I wonder if it is of interest to you – if we pool our collective energy/ thoughts then what can be done and just what might we learn and/or achieve? If you are interested then go straight ahead and join the Facebook group ‘Morphogenic fun’ as the plan is to commence very soon indeed and then perhaps consider who else you know who may benefit from this.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to a week with a difference!

No boys, we’ll do it later…

The look on my kids’ faces when I pull out that immortal stalling phrase. Funny but I can remember my folks using it on me and thinking yeh you’re just stalling there’s no reason why we can’t do it right now and yet I still come out with it……. Am I becoming my father?

So what is it that makes us throw these objections out and are they always valid, justified or in fact utterly pointless? Well of course I can only speak on behalf of me, though I guess that from feedback from my previous observations that many of you, like me, are ready to challenge yourselves and aim a little differently.

Now at this point I could wander off into procrastination, or an ineffective strategy or even some form of limiting belief and I’m not going to….. visit our site at http://www.highc.co.uk and book on an NLP training to get the skills on these and many aspects of your personal development if that’s what you feel is right – no, i’m going to meander on in plain english.

You see when my kids challenge me with the immortal phrase “can we do it now?” and I use the response that is the title of this piece, I think what actually occurs is that to more or less a degree they are pushing me out of my comfort zone – do you get what I mean? To be honest there is no usual ‘good’ reason it just rattles through mental barriers and pushes me to where i wasn’t necessarily planning to go.

Now this is where it gets interesting doesn’t it? Surely in the second prior to them asking, I’m not consciously listing objections in my head, so where do they come from? It’s like they appear from nowhere and fill my mind just for a split second.

To be honest, in that specific context it is not a major issue (though the boys would probably not agree) but what if this occurs when you are planning your business or setting your goals? Have you ever set your mind on doing something, you probably really wanted it (I know I have) and yet you didn’t get it yet?

The question i am challenging myself with therefore for 2011 is quite straight forward and it’s this – ‘what do I need to do in order to allow the natural flow of success within me to occur easily and effortlessly’. In other words what must occur for me to allow myself to succeed. You see I know you can do those things that you passionately want to do and just haven’t done yet AND I know that deep down you know this too.

The challenge then, should you choose to accept it now, is to go and do those things, let go of all of the ‘not do’ old reaons of the past and keep your focus on the outcome. Stay flexible and be prepared to work with what is working. As my boys would say when I deflect them… Dad “If not now, when?”

It literally changed my life…..

Now I can guess what someone may think – here’s another story of how positivity can over come all, you know the sort of thing…. BUT, read on because it’s not like that at all.

There I was, shirt sleeves, freezing cold outside and ready to go out. A friend looks across at my scant attire and remarks, “won’t you be cold?” I laugh and smile back “nah, I don’t do thin…..!”

What? What had just come out of my mouth? “I don’t do thin?” I meant to say, well at least consciously, “I don’t get cold”. Now, to the point of the story.

Just a few weeks earlier I had decided that this was the year to lose weight and really get fit….. you know the kind of thing, tends to happen in very early January. I’d done all my usual stuff, started running and was being a bit more careful with food and drink etc etc and was losing a bit of weight. However, I was also coming up against all my usual excuses and internal conflicts about the fact that I ‘love’ food and actually wanted to be in better shape.

I remember a thought flashing through my mind and then out again that went a bit like this “I wonder how I knew it was time to be not in the body I’d like to be in?” Now, those of you who have not yet done any NLP training might be thinking ‘what is he on about?’….. and those of you who have might wonder why my mind produces quantum patterns for fun – anyway, here’s the cool thing!

As soon as my ‘limiting belief’ around being thin was exposed consciously, literally it was like flicking a switch and my training improved massively and the excess weight started to tumble off.

So, as fascinated as you must be with my personal stories, why on earth am I sharing this with you? Well, here’s the thing…. I was unconsciously stopping myself from fulfilling my goal, ‘self sabotage’ if you like and it took a real prod to release this and allow me to move on.

Is there an area of life where you’ve wanted results and then just not achieved them and it really is a mystery to you? And you really want those results now don’t you?

On 8th January 2011 from 1.30pm – 3.30pm at David Lloyd, Sidcup I’ll be sharing my story and teaching you exactly what you need to know to set great goals, remove self imposed limitations and get the results you want every time!

The seminar is FREE and open to members AND non members and is family friendly too! To register call 0845 834 0149 or visit FREE WORKHSOPS  now as places are limited.

Get the results you want in 2011 – register now as you have EVERYTHING to gain!

“when will I,will I be famous?”

Yes I know, I promised I wouldn’t get suckered in this year but I have…. there, I’ve admitted it, I’m watching X Factor. Before you hit that little ‘x’ in the corner, bear with me because this time I have a genuine reason (well that’s what I’m tellng myself).

I think we are all pretty familiar now with the recipe, the auditions, the exultation of the great (and the dreadful of course) and it’s the dreadful that started my intrigue. You know that moment when they look unpromising and then both they, and curiously the family too, insist that this is what they were born to do – in fact it is more than a dream, it is a life purpose. The rest as they say becomes televisual history with the judges (and usually Simon) being left to dole out the blatant truth – let go of this ludicrous dream and pursue something you have a ‘cat in hell’s chance’ of succeeding at – please!

For the ‘lucky’ few who make it to the live finals we see a whole new form of sport when those who allegedly ‘want it more then anything’ do battle with themselves (or is it the judges?) to reach their lifes ambition – but don’t be fooled, look at their facial expressions, their body movements, the expressions behind the eyes and how they truly handle emotional stress. Bearing in mind it is said that ‘public speaking’ is feared more than death in the UK, the science of how to deal with performing and ultimately fame is key, isn’t it? So humour me, before they even sing a word next time, judge for yourself – can they handle it? Is this really what they want or will their emotions out them in the end.

(Dave Kibby provides performance and presentation coaching – visit www.highc.co.uk for further information)

“Regrettably, You’re fired!”

Those words must still echo in the ears of the contestants on this years’ ‘The Apprentice’ for some time, long after the cameras have changed their focus and public attention has moved on to the next spectacle of entertainment.

In the past 2 years that kind of feedback, whether actually being fired, or made redundant, or ‘let go’ has had an enormous impact for a large number of people and is currently in many business sectors a harsh reality and regularity.

Of course, somewhat ironically, the feedback that at the time often seems most harsh or unwelcome often turns out to be incredibly useful in the longer term (though this is not always the case) and can become the catalyst for both personal change and development.

So I started to think about this whole issue of feedback and how we look for it (or hide from it) and whether we really know how to deal with it. One of the presuppositions of NLP gives us a really interesting way to look at this – ‘there is no failure, only feedback’. Now if you have been on the receiving end of being forced out of work, or even a relationship, then chances are that this quote may not hit the spot yet, but bear with me ad read on.

I recall an experience I had around 2 years ago when I was experiencing challenges in my work environment. I’d utilised all of my normal resources for feedback and fundamentally I didnt like what they were telling me, so I ignored it. Finally I went to have lunch with someone who up until 18 months earlier had been my business coach as I thought he would empathise with me – boy how wrong I was, he told me straight and as I sipped my tepid water I began realising the cost of ignoring all of the feedback I was getting.

As a result, I rehired him the following day and set about going back through the previous feedack. taking the learnings and integrating as much as possible. It also completely changed the way I gave feedback to others from that point on.

The reality of life is that things get thrown into our paths that seem harsh, often unwarranted or unfair and potentially hugely damaging – BUT, from the moment these things occur the one thing we can do is control our response (even if it seems incredibly tough at the time) and shape the way we utilise the feedback.

Out of the recession, many people have chosen to invest in themselves, perhaps pursue a personal business venture that previously they would not have dared to attempt. Others have taken stock of these experiences and the impact on their values (what is important and motvates us in specific contexts) and made significant change – often for the good.

So perhaps after all there is only feedback – it’s certainly a gentler way of hearing those immortal words, “Regrettably, you’re fired!”.